i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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