my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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