every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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