The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize