Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
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