; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
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the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
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Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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