WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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