Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize