you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize