You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize