I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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