last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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