Swine flu is the new snow day.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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