we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
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She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
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those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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