New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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