Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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