As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize