her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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