My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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