My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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