Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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