shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
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If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
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After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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