jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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