I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize