Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He did a backflip because drugs
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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