god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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