Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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