The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
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It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
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There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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