i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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