Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize