Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize