It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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