my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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