Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize