I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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