I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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