I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
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He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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