I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize