Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
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