All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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