he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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