Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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