Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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