Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize