I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize