Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
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I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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