I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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