Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize