I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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