There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
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I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
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If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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